My First Ladies Night…

Bangalore has some of the best Pubs and Breweries in the country and Idea of hanging out in Bangalore is really not complete without visiting many of these famous places.

So its obvious that my female persona also gets a chance from time and again to visit these places. So one day I had to meet a friend at Indiranagar 100ft road , we really had not decided where to go,  so planned to meet up at Sony world signal a popular land mark on the road. Once we met up there We were wondering where to go and ended up going to a popular Pub , Co-incidentally it was a Ladies Night that evening and I got free entry ( as a lady that I was) !! Yay!!  not just that, once inside we were offered special prices on select drinks too.. Now that makes you feel special. So I was enjoying my ladies night, me and my friend got talking for  hours,  polished a few beers and cocktails and then it was time for me to use the rest room, I was a little apprehensive as it being a  ladies night the queue outside the ladies room was quiet long.. So while I was waiting in the queue , the girl standing next to me glanced at me and said “You look so pretty” and i smiled back at her and said “thank you, You made my day!” and indeed she did!  Its a feeling which is hard to describe. Its a feeling of my femininity being recognized or acknowledge.. Its in sort a validation that my female person which has been snubbed for so many years has suddenly been acknowledged.

Its small moments like these that a Cross-dresser Like me craves for the most!

….That one woman who mistook me for a real woman, that sweet comment from a stranger, that friendly smile, that gesture of opening the door for me…or showing chivalry in some way  and so on…  these small moments gives me validation that some one has seen that girl in me that I am trying to present and reacted in accordance.. So yes this was an interesting outing one that will stay with me for long….

A Night where the Lady in me was acknowledged! It was My night .It was My Ladies night!!

 

Can I rent a house as a Cross-dresser?

Can a cross dresser find a Rental House? A House  where He can be a She and not be judged? Well the answer is YES..  Initially I felt its impossible to find a house as  a cross dresser. So I decided to find out on my own if i can succeed in getting a house for myself as a woman. It all depends on how you approach. What I decided is to put out an advertisement and seek response. I mentioned in the Add that I am a  transgender and was very clear that I dress-up as a girl. Well soon enough I had replies and I was talking to people. Most of the people I spoke to seem to be open initially but later said no to me.  I had a month of rejections. Most people giving lame reasons mostly!  However a small set were open. I happen to go meet them and see the place they were offering. Now this where things were tricky. I wanted the home owners to see me as a girl first, so I went to the place dressed up as a girl and while I did that I had to also be care full that I look like a working girl who meets the criteria of “descent” by Indian norms!! So there I was … dressed in a white kurti with pink work, pink leggins matching duppata out to see houses!!

The First house I went to, The owners were very kind. I noticed the Lady of the house was more comfortable talking to me than the man. The Lady showed me all the amenities and also empathized with me telling me that i should not tell people am Trance and that if I tell them before, I might reduce my chances of getting a house. I politely told her that I needed to be honest about myself as I would be living there for which she concurred. she also asked me to give all my IDs and do the token payment so that she could block the flat on my name.. That was my first offer!!

I saw so many options , met so many people and realized house hunting is a tough job, add to it being a crossdresser and its tougher. I always got asked one or two personal question which is fine. But nothing is impossible. even a crossdresser like me ended up finding a house, may be a bit far,  may be a bit too expensive.. but i found it! However I did this as an experiment to see the openness people have to offering a house to some one who is like me, and my findings were really surprising. I feel its possible for any one to get a house, all you need is to be  patient!

Q&A – How would a Crossdresser be at work?

Many have asked

So Do you wear like really tight male pants and go to work?

– I have a fine sense of dressing in male clothes just as I have in female clothes. I hate being clumsy , A typical work day, you would find me in a Crisp Allen Solly shirt and slim fit trousers with an LV belt paired with a checks blazer and Roush Shoes polished to see your reflection. And no, slim fit is not tight fight!!

Do you walk like a woman all the time?

– I walk like a man, You would not see me swinging my hips wearing male clothes. So when I am a Guy I walk like a guy, When am a girl, I walk like a girl (consciously) . sometime what I wear makes me walk in a certain way.
For example wearing heels influences how you walk so does wearing a sari or a pencil skirt.

Do you Check out women or their clothes?

– When I see a girl I notice her features like eyes,lips,bust,bum,figure I also notice her Hair,Lipstick, nail art, jewellery, Forever 21 top, mango pants, Lavie bag and her peep toe heels..

So basically I give a through check and don’t really miss anything at all.

Do you bond with women better than men?

– I bond better with both sexes as i know the best of both sexes.. I know the bro code so also I know sister hood or the chick code??

Do you tell a woman you cross-dress the minute you meet her?

Well in person its hard to do that. I use to hide my cross dressing, feeling guilty about myself. I still hide my cross dressing not because I feel guilty but because I do not want the people with me to feel uncomfortable. So it depends on the type of person am talking to. Thankfully I have met some beautiful people in this world and most understand me when I tell them am a cross-dresser. of course it takes some time , I let them ask  me questions and I answer everything till they get clarity.

On a given day would you like to go as a Guy or as a Girl to office?

It depends which day? if its a usual day either would do fine depends on my mood however in an MNC like mine where people speak of open culture.. I know I wouldent be accepted as a crossdresser so I stick to male attire.  if I had a choice and  its a special day at work lets say woman’s day , surly would like to go as a woman 😛 so also on ethnic day !! Ethnic day for men is boring!! would go with being a woman.. I mean look at the options!!

I shall keep editing this as and when I get asked questions .

-Aquila

The Date!

I am special when it comes to dating. You can date me as a girl and as a guy. Faaancy right! I mean common, even if you were straight, there is always a fraction of you wondering what it would be to date the same sex. Recent study by Essex University has shown that all women are bisexual and that is good news to me!

You see when any one goes out on a first date they try to look their best.  So looks play an important role if not a major role in a date. I  ask the woman if she would like to meet me as a guy or as a girl.  I can look the best either way! 🙂 I have to agree its a bit boring to “Dressup” as a guy as there is really not much to do. However as a girl…Now that’s interesting,  tops-bottoms-shoes-makeup-jewellery-bag everything has to be just perfect.. As a guy I pic out my best jeans and my best tee … that’s about it.

Here on how the date goes is very similar as a guy or as a girl to me. Its important that we meet someplace quiet like a coffee joint in a mall, so that we can talk and connect. Once we connect there are a lot of options.. Ideally I would love to meet my date at a mall so that we have lots to do. We could start with a coffee  and move to  play a game at crosswords or a sports bar with the looser been given dares to complete! While the dares are on may be we move on to some window shopping. Trying on some tees at Allen solley , Jeans at Levis ,Gowns at M&S, Dresses at BIBA or nick-knacks at accessorize can be soothing and if you endup picking up something, It could be Nirvana 😛 sorry but I am a shopaholic . I will buy and make you buy too…

After that, Getting some food is important as am sure by now the energy levels are low. This is where the getting to know part should be more intense and getting really personal. I mean common if you lasted together for few hours already its time to know what kinda porn the other person watches! What makes her tick, what are turn on’s and turn off’s. Whats also important is what the other person is looking for? So the expectations are set right.

So after a laughter filled meal a nice walk to an ice cream joint to grab some quiet time would be just fine.. A lot can happen over an ice-cream too .. And if there is  chill in the air, a nice cuddle would be just perfect! From here on I shall let your imagination take you away..  As for me I shall let the women take me away! 😉

 

— Well the above is mostly fiction,  as I have very little dating experience myself! So if some of you readers are experienced,  pardon my ignorance in life. The Point of this post is:  if you were to imagine me as a Guy or as a Girl the date wouldn’t be any different!  – Right?

 

Crossdressed? or Just Dressed?

While growing up, I use to see my sisters wear shirt and trousers one day and a frock the other day. When I tried to do the same, it was considered wrong and I was told to stick to wearing shirts and trousers and not to touch frocks.

Fast forward 20 years and nothing has changed. The women in my life continue to wear jeans, shirts all kinda  masculine clothes and it’s considered cool! Hell there is even a term for it “Boyfriend Jeans”.  So ladies where are the “Girlfriend jeans” for men?  May be there is a guy out there who would love to wear his girls clothes😒

I read a forward once which said a guys shirt on a girl the morning after is like winning a trophy  for the guy.. Will the vice versa be same?

Todays world, women dressing in men’s clothes is in such common place that no one cares , the same if a guy were to do.. Well people will laugh.

That laugh stems from the thought that being a man is considered superior. So if a man dressed as a woman he is lowering himself! Why would he wanna do that?is he crazy? Yes people , this is the sad truth behind that laugh when you see a cross dresser !

So if you consider all sexes equal !! Then a guy wearing a woman’s dress should Not be stigmatized !

I have been asked “if God made you a girl would you be happy?” Well I am happy the way God made me!  I am a girl and I am a boy .  I got two for one deal yo! I couldent be happier.. I only have  a regret, I should have cared less for the society and gotten out earlier

Now days , I see the change in society however small, but it is happening . I wonder when will that day come when I will go from being cross dressed to just dressed!!  🙂

 

 

 

 

The Begning to My cute Peplum Dress

So my Cross-dressing started at a very young age. So young that I don’t remember when exactly it started. I have memories of me trying out my mums dresses and bangles way back when I was 7-10 years old!

The official beginning of my dressing would be the first time I went out in drag. Well this was at a time when i didn’t know “cross-dressing” was a term. My school uniform was skirts for girls and shorts for boys, both boys and girls wore the same shirt on top . The other difference was the shoes that girls wore were different from what boys wore except on Saturday. We all know canvas shoes are the same for all!

So one Saturday when I was going to school I saw my sisters skirt on the chair.  She was not keeping well and was not going to attend school. I picked up her skirt and put it in my school bag like a thief in a super-mart.

All through the class I was worrying, what if some one saw my bag and found the skirt!  My friends would make fun of me! however nothing like that happened and school was over by noon. I waited in school till my class cleared out and then went to the rest room. I pulled-out the  skirt  and wore it over my shorts. I also removed my school belt from the shorts and put it on my skirt. I  had carried bangles and earnings in my pocket and I wore them too. I was Cute!  My heart was pounding but I decided to quickly run out of the rest room as how can a girl be seen in a boys room???

TA-DA!! – My Female persona had seen the light of the day!! She was out in the open, I loved the way the skirts hemline brushed against my knee.. The gentle breeze that I could feel between my legs! All this was new as I had never worn a skirt outside my room! I was enjoying every moment !! As the school was deserted I had even more confidence to go to my class and sit at my desk! Yes I sat at my desk as a girl!! That was a big feeling then and even now… will come back to this..

Suddenly as I was walking around a security guard approached me and started asking me Hey.. What are you doing here so late??  Which class?…. I  Froze…!! But some how I murmured to him  “My mom is waiting outside and I need to use the Loo” ( The Loo?? what was i thinking!!)  the guard asked me to go pointing at the loo.. I put my head down , Held the edges of my skirt and walked straight inside the girls wash room! Luckily I was alone and I decide to wait out in one of the stalls till the guard disappeared.. I also removed my skirt and put it in my bag.. After a few mins I slowly walked out and peeped out the door and I saw  group of girls from the senior class walking  towards the washroom I hurried back into the stall and waited… Suddenly the wash room was filled !! Some one knocked on my door.. I was petrified. The knock became louder accompanied by” Hey any one in here?” and i had to Answer “YES”  I quickly wore my skirt back and did my in-shirt and waited and the knock came again. I could hear so many girls talking.. Finally I got out! there was a Senior girl waiting, she saw me and said ” Hey why are you in senior bathroom? Go to to your floor”!! I looked up to her and  said yes sorry and I quietly walked out.. Turns out the sports team had finished games and returned !!!

Now the fun was over , I was scared and I needed to change back.. as I was walking to the next floor, The guard again saw me.. Now I had nothing else to do but to-walk towards the exit. I ended up exiting the school.. I felt relieved but a new challenge appeared. How am I gonna Walk back home in a skirt?? The breeze was strong and the skirt was flying around.. I desperately held on to the edges of my skirt and got the first hand feel of why all my class girls use to have a hand behind every now and then!!  How I reached back home is a different story altogether..

So coming back to  sitting at my desk dressed as a Girl, It was an experience that has remained with me! Why?  Well now I can never dare to go to my office and sit in my cabin wearing a nice formal Peplum dress!! Hell I wouldn’t get past the security!!  I would work the same way, I would be the same boss that I was yesterday, I would be the same loyal hardworking team member to my boss, All my engineering and masters degrees would be the same, My patents would be the same,  but still,  I would be considered different, I will not be respected by any one.    Why?        My cute Peplum dress ! 🙂

Would you be my Girlfriend?

The other day I was talking to a young lady. She understood that  I am a man and that I like dressing like a woman occasionally. I shared a picture of myself where I am presenting myself as a woman and she immediately asked me what kinda men I like??  This is a question I get asked a lot! Like many other people before, had to explain the part that I am “straight”. I could see she was so confused that she couldn’t get her head around the idea that a man can dress like a woman (occasionally) and still fancy women!

She then went on to say, ” you look like a woman so why will a woman date you?”

I really had no answer to her.  I guess I do confuse people. I am wired differently. I like doing all things conceived feminine and at the same time I do all things considered masculine!  I like cooking , I like dressing up, I love shopping, I don’t like pink that much but I can carry off pink well . I love growing my nails and keeping them painted. I melt with the sight of  “Sale” at VeroModa and more.

On the other side I love watching and playing cricket, I love going on long bike rides with my massive bike, I love maintaining my Bike , my car and I do it all by myself getting my hands dirty.Beer drinking with friends is a ritual.. and checking out women while with bros discretely is always fun!!  So all this and More…

So why would a woman be my Girlfriend?  Let me list out a few things I can do for her,

I can cook for her, I can go shopping with her literally everywhere even Victoria’s secret is no secret to me! I can be a model to help her get that perfect hemline,

For that wedding party even though am ready in my tux, I will help her get those pleats right and pinup in the right places!! If the bra straps were to show from that beautiful blouse, I might just have the transparent straps that she might need!

I will be the only BF  who will share his slip with her just in-case she needed one for that translucent white top  , Go impress gal!

I might also be the only bf whose jewellery, mascara and lipstick she can borrow when ever she pleases!!

She will have double the wardrobe,shoes and bags, if she is close to my size (M-xl)

I will stand in line with her for the sale and help her pick out that perfect outfit while she tries on another ,I will walk slowly if shes wearing heels as I know how on some surfaces  can be tricky

I can have a girls night out with her, where we do some beauty treatments all at home, I wouldn’t complain,rather help her with her nail art!!Hell I would also have extra waxing strips just in-case she ran out!

And yes Be that perfect stereotype “BF- Material” to her friends and family when they need me!!

Also if things get steamy.. I would carefully undress her respecting her expensive dedicates, as I know how much we love our lingerie, and for what goes on from here, Well  I am Straight soo.. let your imagination work ladies…

Hi Madam! How are You?

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The other day I went to my local store called “Health and Glow”  , I was wearing an elegant flowery pattern top and Jeans, I was out shopping for some makeup . The moment I entered the store the sales attended looked at me smiled and said “Hi madam! How are you? Long time since you visited us!! “I was surprised that she remembered me . She made me feel very comfortable so much so , that all the time that I was there I forgot that I was genetically male. I was engrossed in choosing lipstick shades and looking at  new eyeliners and making my pick just like anyone else would do.

All was good till I went to the cashier. The man standing behind the counter gave me one look and laughed.He also kept staring like he wanted to see through me or as if he wanted me to react in some way. He in that one smirk of his took away all that comfort and confidence I had gained. I felt conscious and  wanted to get out !! In a span of 45 mins I went from feeling like a princess to felling like an Oger  !!

Being a cross-dresser is not easy. I wish there was more support for my kind!  We love shopping so we shop and pay bills just like anyone else.  Then Why do we get laughed at?

 

Whats in a Name?

We usually have little choice over the name we get when we are born. Our Parents keep our name. So its fair to say Non of us have the choice of keeping the name we want.

But I am an exception. You see one of the perks of being a cross-dresser is you get to choose the name you want to call yourself as a woman.  So I have kept many names till date based on my fancy.It did not matter. Today I am suzy tomorrow I am Priya! However Now that I venture out in the real world, Its important to create a name! People are going to Identify my female person with that. This is where  things got tricky.  Its just not keeping a name but getting used to being called by that name!

Long ago a Friend use to call me naina and that remained. Then I changed it as i didn’t want the name Naina to some thing else.. So what should be my name?

I reckon I shall stick to “Anamika” for a while?  Got any new suggestion?

Bra shopping in Bangalore!

If you are a woman who has grown up in Bangalore, India then you will be aware of how things use to operate in the olden days.. Bra shopping would be generally uncomfortable. The Shop would be in the crowded market, Most Shops in Bangalore will have a huge showcase on the outside with all kinds of bras on display with weird Pointy cone stuffing making them look like they are out for  some serious damage!

The Shops were mostly owned by marwadi guys and mostly you have to talk to a Male attendant.

HBra store

Bra store


He will quickly look down and say Madam 36C? and you would sheepishly agree or disagree on the size and state the actual size. Get the bra you want and walk out!  Well if its that uncomfortable for a woman, imagine how it is for a crossdresser!!

Lol some might say easy but  its not! its the other way round. And hence I never went shopping for a bra enfeme even though i always wanted to!!

So the other day I was due for a new Bra and instead of shopping online I decided I AM going to be brave and walk into a store and pic what i want! Hummmm , So i headed out dressed in my Blue girly top and Jeans to go with ! I first went to the local store, Looking at the puny sales guy oggling at me I decided to give it a miss and I headed to the Local mall! At the Mall There was this cute little Store for the brand “enamor”  I walked in and soon I was greeted with “Hi Mam”  and i was soon at easy. I said Am looking for a Strapless Bra. and the lady quickly showed me options then came the size 😛   Topic the convo went like this

Me: Size is 36 and Cup size is ………. ( for which she quickly looks at my chest)

Sales Lady: “C” Go for “C mam” ,

Me: I go for “B” usually

Sales lady : “C” will give you better coverage ..Why dont you try it?

WOha!! We have Bra trial rooms in India Now!   Gone are the embarrassing days.. No male loki loos guessing your size… Now you buy what you want and that too after trying it on!  So I ended up buying my strapless bra!   I was super happy as first time ever I bought a bra in a shop without a hint of embarrassment! Another achievement to my list!

🙂   🙂    🙂  🙂